Finding My Way

For so many years, my purpose was beautifully clear — raising my sons. Those years were full of laughter, chaos, love, and the steady hum of family life. From the early days of childhood to the whirlwind of junior high and high school, I lived every moment right alongside them. They played sports, made music, cast their fishing lines into the sunlit water, and explored the outdoors with endless curiosity. Wherever they were, I was.

Our lives were woven together with cousin sleepovers, family dinners, and vacations that became chapters in our family story — Disney magic, the crisp air of Tahoe, the laid-back beaches of Southern California, and the breathtaking majesty of the Grand Tetons. Those moments built the foundation of who I was, and for a long time, that was everything I needed.

But then, as they grew and began to find their own way, I started to ask myself: What’s next for me?

So I began to explore. I tried new things — some serious, some just for fun. I dabbled in art therapy. I discovered a passion for wine tasting (turns out, I’m pretty good at that — haha). I took classes in holistic healing and yoga, danced through a few salsa lessons, and filled my evenings with online courses and podcasts. I even gave a few of those “look younger” TikTok trends a try.

I read everything from Brené Brown’s words on vulnerability to books about quantum physics and manifestation. Each new thing brought a little spark of curiosity, a flicker of self-discovery — but still, something was missing. I kept searching for where I fit in — that next community, career, or purpose that would give me the same sense of belonging I once found so easily in motherhood.

And then, somewhere along the way — maybe in the quiet moments between searching and striving — I realized something simple but profound: You don’t find belonging by fitting into something outside of yourself. You belong when you finally feel safe and secure within yourself.

It takes time to get there — to feel grounded again, to trust your own rhythm, to know that you’re not lost, just becoming. But now, I’m learning to rest in that truth. To create, to dream, and to rediscover joy not as someone’s mom, not as someone’s partner, but simply as me.